Making the decision to adopt is one that is not easy to make and it will most certainly change your life in many ways. It's not a decision that is made in the head, but in the heart; and not just your heart, but the heart of your partner and anyone else who is a part of your family. First and foremost, I feel it is vital to have a partner that you can trust completely and are able to have an open and honest conversation with while having the ability to bounce ideas off of one another. The decision we would be making as a couple and a family is life altering and there is no room for keeping any thoughts or feelings about the decision bottled away. When we began to make this decision we talked over the positives, negatives, the impact, the stress, and the effects it would have, not only on our relationship but our children's too. Mary has two biological children and including them in this decision was of the utmost importance. So we did; after getting our ducks in a row and coming to the conclusion that adoption was the path for us, we approached our children and told them our thoughts and feelings and asked for their honest input and feedback about how they felt. While we were a little uncertain of how they would respond, we were delighted at how responsive and accepting they were to our hopes of extending our family. Once the decision was final that we as a family were going to adopt, where we were going to adopt from was the first question. Like making the decision to adopt, choosing a country to adopt from is a decision that is made from the heart. For us, Ethiopia was our first country of choice right from the get go. When we started researching adoption, both of our hearts gravitated toward Ethiopia and it was one of those feelings that "just felt right." It's important to know that every country has different adoption laws and requirements and before making a decision to adopt from a specific country, make sure to research what those requirements entail. Requirements can range from age of persons adopting, to length of marriage, and even religious beliefs. So it is extremely important to be aware of those laws and requirements. Once we determined that we would meet the criteria to adopt from Ethiopia, our next step was to get the rest of the family in the loop and on board with what we were doing. By rest of the family I mean parents, grandparents, siblings, extended family, etc. As nonchalantly as I say that, that conversation shouldn't be taken lightly as having the support of family makes the adoption process much smoother and healthier for everyone involved. I won't even pretend that approaching our family about our decision to adopt from Ethiopia was easy, but it was a conversation that was mandatory and important. With family comes questions and concerns and often times blatant truths (which aren't necessarily a bad thing), but most importantly, with family, comes support and sure enough we got the support we needed all across the board. That's not to say that questions and concerns didn't arise; most notably, the decisions to adopt from a third world country that is half way around the world, but our answers to our family's questions were the same thing I've been saying this whole time, in that this decision was made in our hearts and it is what we are supposed to do. While I'm not a therapist, or even qualified to give advice regarding adoption, I can say with confidence that openness and honesty will go a long way when discussing thoughts and feelings about adoption and which country to adopt from. Any hint of hesitation or reservation should be explored and discussed thoroughly as this decision is one that is life changing for everyone.